"In the world I see....you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned super-highway." - Chuck Palahniuk
"It is always simply a matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country." - Hitler's propaganda chief Herman Goerring
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Ya...I got amused.............
| You Know You're From British Columbia When... |
| You know the provincial flower You consider that if it has no snow, it is not a real mountain. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Blendz, and Tim Horton's. You know how to pronounce Squamish, Osoyoos & Nanaimo. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean and Thai food. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark - while only working eight-hour days. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation. You know that Dawson Creek is a town, not a TV show. You can point to at least two ski mountains, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover. You notice "the mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 5, but still wear your hiking boots and parka. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 10, but keep the socks on. You recognize the background shots in your favourite movies & TV shows. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you can't find the old ones after such a long time. You use a down comforter in the summer. The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from downtown You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations You've been to a deforestation protest If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your hash It's November, it's raining, but you're still wearing birkenstocks You go broke just paying rent. You don't own a heavy winter coat You can't figure out why Manitoba is considered part of Western Canada. You wouldn't be caught dead on Vancouver Island or Vancouver without your umbrella and plastic shoes. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from British Columbia. |
| In a Past Life... |
 Where You Lived: Peru. How You Died: Suicide. |
| You Are 60% Weird |
 But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks! |
| You Know You're a Pothead When... |
| You think the song "Truckin'" by the Grateful Dead should replace the national anthem. Your music collection is worth more than your vehicle. Your bong is taller than your dog. It takes you more than 30 minutes to roll a joint. You set your wedding date for 4/20. You take off April 20th every year and treat it as a holiday. You spent your last bit of money to score some herbs and don't have enough gas money to get home but you don't care. You start every sentence with - uhhh!. You intentionally roll seeds in your joints on independence day so you can hear the popping because you don't have money to buy fireworks. You eat at Taco Bell more than 8 times a week. You wear sunglasses at night, and see better. You go to the corner store and the clerk automatically tosses a pack of rolling papers on the counter. Your pot tray is fuller than your refrigerator. Your bong gets washed more than your dishes. You sell your car for gas money You are the only tobacco smoker in the room and you look at the cigarette in the ashtray and ask, "Is that my cigarette?" You're eating something on your way home thinking about what you're gonna eat when you get home! Every cylinderical object you see, turns into plans on a new smoking device.... Just to be religous, you observe 4:20 in every time zone. Someone has ever come up to you on the street and said "Hi" and you said "Yep." You thought the ebola virus was a type of weed. You think being stoned to death would be a damn good way to go out. You have ever smoked pot before 8 o'clock in the morning. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other pothead friends. |
| You Know You're From Georgia When... |
| Sweet tea is THE drink. No questions. When a waitress asks what you want to drink and you say Coke, she asks "What kind?" "Ya'll" is a word. Atlanta is known as "The City." You know the difference between a hillbilly, a redneck, and a Southerner. The one way to be killed in .5 seconds is to talk about somebody's mama or talk bad to somebody's mama. Krispy Kreme dounuts are the only kind of dounuts you eat. Fried chicken is a major part of your diet. When the Goverment started telling people to stock up on duck tape, you were waaaaaaaaaay ahead of them. You walk into someone's house and people are sitting around smoking what they call "the garden" On one side of the road there's Wal-Mart and on the other is a cotton field You greet people with"Howdy, Whachu doin?" You know what a 'dawg' is. You know people who consider a six pack and a bug zapper quality entertainment. The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road." Your dog and your wallet are both on chains. You still call the refrigerator the "icebox". You call it a cold Christmas if you don't break out in a sweat in your new sweater. Your whole town completely shuts down for 1 inch of snow or just the threat of snow You know at least three streets named "Peachtree" You don't know anyone who drinks Pepsi. The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger... unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy. People actually grow, eat and like okra! You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Georgia. |
| You Know You're From West Virginia When... |
| You only knew one or two Republicans as you were growing up. You actually know someone who has sold their vote for a bottle of liquor. You've never seen a local ballot with anything but Democratic candidates. You think Senator Byrd should be nominated for Sainthood. You've seen Senator Byrd's name on a sign in front of a bridge or highway construction project. You know what commodity cheese is. You've been asked to give someone a ride to the post office on "check day." You know what "check day" is. You have avoided the post office on "check day." You've seen a picture of John L. Lewis hanging on someone's wall right between the picture of Jesus and JFK. You know who John L. Lewis is. You know what a Tipple is. You know what a slate dump is. You played on a slate dump as a kid. You know someone who actually did go to Pruntytown. She same guy got his head shaved and "fell down the steps" at the court house a couple of times before being sent off. Everyone who works at the court house is related to someone else who works there. You sometimes call a paved road "the hard road." You know someone who has driven to a neighboring state to get "real beer" instead of the 3.2 stuff. You've bought fireworks from the same guy with the real beer. The state where this guy went might be called "O-hi." "Vacation" means driving through Wyatt on the way to Morgantown. Down south to you means Kentucky. Stores don't have bags; they have pokes. You cook green beans for hours. You know what a real tomato is, and have a recipe for candy ones. Your parents have threatened to have you sent to Pruntytown. You can watch someone order a hotdog and know in what part of the state they live. You know that Serpent Mound was not made by snakes. You know at least one couple who went to Virginia or Maryland to get married. You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from West Virginia. |
| You Know You're From Florida When... |
| You own at least five pairs of flip flops You know someone who's been struck by lightning You're more scared of the freaks who live down the street than gators Your backyard is sometimes a swamp You're officially sick of Disney You shrug off hurricane warnings You've been permanently blinded by fat men in speedos There are only two seasons - hot and hotter You've drank a flaming alligator. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Florida. |
| You are Agonistic |
 For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine. You rather focus on what you can control - your own life. And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you. |
| You Are a Peacemaker Soul |
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| You Failed 8th Grade Math |
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1:56 a.m. - Tuesday, Nov. 08, 2005
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