"In the world I see....you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned super-highway." - Chuck Palahniuk
"It is always simply a matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country." - Hitler's propaganda chief Herman Goerring
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whaddyagonnado??
So, life is life. My face is finally getting better every day by the tiniest bit & I am truly grateful for that. Fucking doctors. I feel much more human each day even tho it’s been a pretty crappy couple of weeks. Over 3 weeks now, I guess. Des was a nightmare all weekend, baby & I sat in the Wal-mart parking lot for 3 hours doing our version of an argument over fucking cigarettes Sunday night, M&D are fighting in front of the kid every time we’re not around……….there’s a list of bitchery.
So have I mentioned that we’ve made a decision on our living arrangements? We’ve decided to screw the mortgage and we’re gonna rent. This month will mark 6 months living with them and we can’t do it anymore. Baby never gets any rest for a variety of reasons (mostly making a lot of rude-ass noise and the fact that they give her shit for sleeping any amount over 8 hours when the doctor has told her to clock at LEAST 12…preferably 14 or more). The kid is looking & sounding exactly like me as a child lately. She’s started stealing food. Even if it’s no good any longer. She’s coming up w/coping mechanisms for spacing her mind out while the yelling is going on. Since we keep bitching at them for fighting in front of our child like they swore they’d never do, they just fight in front of our child when SHE’S ALONE WITH THEM. Sooo…we no longer can even say that by living w/them we can go out whenever we want just the 2 of us. I’m not leaving her alone. We were supposed to have a hotel for our anniversary weekend to make up for the week we were supposed to have w/out them while they were on vacation & we couldn’t even do that this past weekend. Ya, our 6th wedding anniversary was Saturday. It was a terrible day. The kid was unbearable & M&D helped sooooooooo much when they had all kinds of flavors of attitude b/c I was lecturing the kid and making her clean on the living room. Oooooooohhh. What a horrible parent I am. They left Saturday night & took the kid for almost 4 hours. Wow. We went down to the pier and listened to the homophobe asshole’s across the canal scream at each other. It was sooo romantic and sooo much better than getting a hotel for the weekend like we originally planned. I wake up and they’re awake. I go to bed and they’re awake. No matter what time of day or night or what day of the week or weekend someone’s awake with the fucking TV on and all the lights on & she’s ALWAYS there on the couch. Right there on the couch. Running her mouth. Telling you what to do, what you’re doing wrong, & ordering you to get her something. The ONLY time she gets up from her couch is to use the bathroom & occasionally she gets her extra helpings of food. I’ve lost count of how many times we have told her that when I’m getting ready in @ 7am I want it to just be Baby & me. Not her. This only works for 1-3 days before she’s right back on the couch all morning running her mouth. He is almost always in his chair, at least he fits in a chair, but he’s just an ass. My kid has put on so much weight in 6 months b/c every time we turn around…he’s sneaking her extra servings and dessert. He’s ARGUING with us about her eating habits. We told them that she ISN’T allowed to watch Narnia. We’ve had this discussion more than once…..what come in from Netflix 2 nights ago????? FUCKING NARNIA!! SHE ISN’T WATCHING IT!! If we get a hotel this weekend to celebrate our anniversary belated……they’re gonna make her watch it. She will watch it b/c they’re gonna push her into it. She doesn’t want to watch the fucking thing. Baby waited until they had to both leave (for a change) to a doctor’s appointment and she put it back in the mailbox! Ok. It’s Friday now & I’ve been typing on this entry all week. I doubt I’m gonna get another chance today to add much more so…..I’m gonna end here. I’m tired. I’m so freaking tired of being irritated all the damn time, but whaddyagonnado?? Right. Peace out, bitches……….. -------------------------------------------------- "Religious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind and unfits it for every noble enterprise. During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What have been its fruits? More or less in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy, ignorance and servility in the laity; in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution." - James Madison10:59 a.m. - Friday, May. 05, 2006
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