You've Been Warned.......

"In the world I see....you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned super-highway." - Chuck Palahniuk

"It is always simply a matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country." - Hitler's propaganda chief Herman Goerring

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Bitchery....bitchery.....bitchery.......I'm better now

So, this was a weekend I’d like to forget. I knew it would be bad. There were omens all day Friday. The bad feeling I had was terrifying. Sunday wasn’t bad. Mother’s day. The kid made us a card that was too friggin cute w/pentagrams & crows all over it. She made us this….thing. It’s a purple yarn rope thing to “hang up in your room”. Ok, sweetie…it’s beautiful. She picked us out a jewelry box that will be very useful & loved in spite of the hearts on it. Baby & I tried to go catch Silent Hill @ the movies, but we didn’t make it in time.

OK……I get home from work Friday & the internet is now hooked up in our room & Dad was very appreciated in that he helped hook it up. M&D actually left for 2 hours for a Dr.’s appointment & lunch (these people are speed-eaters), which was also very appreciated. While they are gone Baby notices the broken glass on our bedroom floor that we’ve been walking barefoot all around for several hours now. It’s from a candle-holder that the kid got me for xmas. Then we noticed a different piece of broken glass…..from the anniversary present that baby got me. Later we found the rest of both things plus a perfectly good candle IN THE TRASH! Fucker wasn’t even gonna tell us he broke them. Just threw all the evidence away & didn’t even bother to sweep! We set ALL the pieces out and when he notices it later…”Oh ya..I broke this.” Really??? I didn’t notice….”We didn’t want them thrown away b/c they were both gifts to me.”….”Oh.”……..Thank Dad. Real nice.

They get home and the man isn’t in the door 5 min’s before he gives me my mail…asks what it is…I am nice enough to tell him just to be polite…”It’s county tax on our car.”….”Well how much is it?”….”Uh….not much”….”We’ll take care of it”….??? Baby looks at him and tries to ask why & how when he cuts her off and tells her not to “get your panties all in a bunch”. FUCK YOU. “Can’t I even ask a question about our stuff?”….”We’ll take care of it.”…………FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!! Yet on Saturday, this man asks me if they can borrow $200.00 b/c they’re overdrawn on their account! Can you believe this shit?? They’re leaving for a week vacation on a house-boat on Saturday. They’ve been looking at Miata’s & don’t even get me started on how my mother is supposed to be greased up enough to fit in one of those! They just had a sprinkler system installed last week. They really have got to be the #1 reason I can’t say I’m a Wiccan any longer. I just can’t flow w/the whole “Harm none” shit. The Morrigan & LaVeyan Satanism, bitches. I’m telling ya.

I digress……..6:30pm comes & we put the kid to bed and baby wants to leave the house for a little while and go get ice cream. It’s an excuse. I’m not gonna go into major detail b/c I’m not up for writing all the shit out…it’s too painful, but we had a horrible argument. Horrible. HORRIBLE. Needless to say, never got the ice cream. I didn’t get out of bed on Saturday until almost 5pm. I just couldn’t face the world. It was so bad. We’re ok now, but we’re both still not the same. It hurts a lot on top of everything else b/c last weekend was sooooooooooo great for us & this weekend……..hell. Not the good kind of hell either. I knew we would have a terrible argument once we moved in w my parents. All the fucking stress. We should have no real stress right now & I swear it’s worse. I still think sometimes about Sarah getting all pissy that we didn’t consult her when we had to leave our home & move a whole 2 hours away after she moved thousands of miles away by her own choice…..getting all pissy when I was trying to be positive on my diary entries and kept writing “it’s fine. It’s ok. It’s a good thing.” Fucking cunt. 7 years wasted. Oh well. It’s in the past. It’s over & done & time to keep moving on & on & on……………

So, anyway bitches, life is life. I expect nothing less. I was surprised that it’s rained today. We’ve been here 6 months now (hear my wailing like a baby) & it’s the first time I’ve really seen it rain for more than a few seconds. There’s puddles! Ooooooooo!

Long entry in my diary, huh? It’s easier to type everything up in Microsoft Word & then just copy/paste it in here. I’ve probably mentioned that before, tho. I think m&d really might actually leave for their week vacation early this Saturday morning. It’s now Tuesday and they haven’t told us that they changed their mind yet. I still won’t really believe it until they leave. Just our family again for a whole week. Even tho they promised they’d do this every other weekend, this is the first time they’ve left the house to just us in 6 months.

Well bitches, I’m gonna end this entry now. It’s long enough and I don’t have much else to complain about. I can’t decide if I’m gonna use up my one day of vacation I’ve earned to take off June 7 or not. It would be nice to stay out all night on 666. We’ve got some options on what we’re gonna do. I’m not letting this day slip by without doing something wonderfully damnable.

666, bitches. 666. Fuck. Yeah.

2:47 p.m. - Tuesday, May. 16, 2006

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