You've Been Warned.......

"In the world I see....you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned super-highway." - Chuck Palahniuk

"It is always simply a matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country." - Hitler's propaganda chief Herman Goerring

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happy (belated) birthday to me...........

We moved out! We moved out. It’s all happened so fast. Let me describe mi casa again…….....……..Cute little duplex house, concrete, fenced in back yard w/large mimosa tree, 2 bedrooms, 1 bath w/a slanted tub for lounging, tons of storage, new roof, master bedroom is white marble tile. It’s only 15 min’s from work. It’s 1 block from the county cultural center & public library. It’s adorable! It’s clean w/new tile thru & thru. The people living in the other half of the duplex….....…get this….....…lesbian couple w/a baby! When I got home Monday there was a huge basket full of 2 batches of 2 different kinds of brownies that they had baked & given as a welcome basket AND they mowed our lawn for us!!! Then....then....they came over and invited us for a cookout to celebrate the 4th. Oh my god! The fireworks are literally a couple blocks from our house, so while it was QUITE LOUD, it was great just sitting outside & watching them plain as day!

Can you believe it???? Every time I open the shower curtain little baby (1 inch) geckos go everywhere. They’re soooooooo cute. The neighborhood is so quiet. There’s kids all on our street. Sadie has been so frisky and happy. Baby & I are still in so much shock. I honestly had given up all hope. I hate to admit that, but it’s the truth. I don’t think I’ve honestly been this happy since Baby & the Kid first came to live with me. I can’t stop crying, but it’s a good cry for a change. Since the day we had to leave St. Pete, I have been very depressed & freaked out about turning 30 & living w/my parents. Talk about feeling like a failure! We got the keys to the house the day before my birthday. I did NOT live with either one of my parents when I turned 30 nor will baby be living with anyone else when she turns 30 in October! We got this place with only our $$ that we earned.....….not one of our parents put a penny towards it. It means so much to me. (and yes….....it is still the principal of the matter b/c I will probably always think of her when it comes to sponging off the parents. I doubt that will ever change)

My b-day was great, by the way. I got lotsa books & music from Baby….......….2 Stephen King books, Marilyn Manson DVD, High Tension (which is the BEST fucking movie!!), Rob Zombie DVD & CD. The kid gave me a beautiful silver ankh pendant! My parents got me a new stereo for our new place. We went out to dinner and they didn’t even get on my nerves.

Goddess it's sooooooooooooooooooooooo great to be on our own again!!! :o) I just can't believe it! It is starting to feel a little more like home every day. We're about 1/2 done with getting our stuff out of storage & into the house. We are totally giddy at planning out the colors and motifs (see, I can use big words) for the house. Baby is getting the kitchen and the hallway. I'm doing the living room & the bedroom. We haven’t figured out what to do with the bathroom (it has a fucking pink tub) & the kid is doing her room (navy blue & metallic gold she says!) For right now I'm doing hunter green w/dark chocolate & plum for the living room! African motif has ALWAYS been a goal for at least one room in my house. I have a few pieces that I've collected over the years, but I've still got a long way to go. I’m terrified to know if my huge painting I got in the Dominican Republic has survived storage. Baby says she's going with a desert/Hispanic/pepper feel for the kitchen (!) I have no idea what this will end up looking like, but she's having a blast & she swears that there will not be any of those chili pepper lights anywhere. So far I'm seeing lotsa reds & oranges. The hallway (which is becoming known as Sadie’s Room) is going to have silver & some other unknown color. Our bedroom is probably going to end up wine w/black & white/silver. For the first time in her little life Sadie has taken to sleeping on the couch with us. She's so perky. The kid has been an angel thru all of this and we have not had to tell her to quit being so negative on time! (this had been a constant problem for months) I'm happy, bitches. It's been too long since I could say that honestly. I'm happy.

Mom’s b-day went off without a hitch. Have I mentioned that life is good, right now? We went out to dinner & Ms. Kim came along. We ADORE that little old thing! I didn’t know she was 72! The kid behaved, but worried that she was gonna have to stay the night with them….......…….she does NOT want to go to her grandparents house. Girlfriend doesn’t seem angry with them or freaked out about them or anything like that, but…she does not like her grandparents anymore. I’m hoping that with a little time she’ll get some of her old feelings back for them, but she was honestly growing less than amused with her grandma before we moved down here. She is so loving her bedroom, tho! 2 big windows that look out into the backyard & the room is bigger than any she’s ever had! She’s dieing to paint it! We noticed last night that the echo in the house is finally gone. Yeah! It makes us feel more moved in.

Did I tell you that the school the kid will be going to is the highest rated in the county? Very happy about this. Let’s just hope that this will actually mean the school is decent. We’ve gotten Honu’s tank all moved over, but have slacked off some this week on moving our stuff. We hurt. Everything is out of mom & dad’s house except the kids headboard & rocking chair & our computer desk. We still have to get crap outta storage. I am NOT looking forward to this. I really hurt my back this weekend on the turtle tank. It’s Wednesday & I still hurt pretty bad. Normally it takes 2 full days to do his tank, but time was of the essence & I got that thing done in just a couple of hours. My hands literally cracked and bleed at the knuckles from all the bleach. I’ve got little scabs that run with the lines on my skin!

I figure once we’re more settled in and the place is looking a little more inviting, we’re gonna have the neighbors over for dinner. Their dog will have to stay home. Boomer. I can’t really think of anything else as a “thank you” for all the things they’ve done for us. They’re very nice chicks. Talkative & a little heavy on the Sarah McLachlan (the kid’s name is Aidia & momma is sporting Sarah’s hairdo), but they were nice.

Well…I think I’ve blabbed long enough for one entry. I’ve been writing over the course of several days, but it’s gotten quite long. I still write my Don and still miss him terribly. I’m grateful every day that I don’t live nor work in St. Pete. It’s the rainy season in Florida, so everything is warm & green & this summer has been so mild!! It’s already well into the Dog Days of Summer & it’s nice. God, it’s green! My hair is still jet black and is finally past my shoulders. Baby has been loving playing her new game, God of War. The thing has many computer animated titties in it….wow. Brokeback Mountain did not impress me. What’s so fucking special about a movie that, once again, shows gay men as miserable star-crossed lovers where someone has to die violently via a hate crime? Ya, that’s original. I’m glad it didn’t win the Oscar.

Ciao, bitches…........…………….

3:13 p.m. - Wednesday, Jul. 12, 2006

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