You've Been Warned.......

"In the world I see....you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned super-highway." - Chuck Palahniuk

"It is always simply a matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country." - Hitler's propaganda chief Herman Goerring

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Make sure you’ve got a REAL good grip on your ankles there, Bush……..

Happiness is leaving the house at the end of your lunch break and your ass is so thoroughly beaten that the fabric from your skirt feels like sandpaper…..

Ah, bitches, how goes it??? All is well here, as you can tell. In 2 weeks I have a real vacation & the kid will be gone for it!! IF we leave the house at all, it’ll probably be to hit Club Heat…..which we might actually do. More than likely we’re gonna hibernate in our own little Cave of Joys.

The house is being cleaned (the ever-ending cycle of house work) & organized. Gotta get some new rope (the old isn’t overtly pretty) & a couple of rolls of film for the Polaroid. The things that make my Baby happy! Gonna get all the groceries taken care of ahead of time. I do have to figure out what we’re gonna have. Baby is already way amused at the idea of making me cook naked. She’s wanted to do this to me since I’ve known her. I still have to trim her hair (as always) & get mine cut. I got her some blue hair dye from Hot Topic & if this doesn’t take then it’s time to give up on her having blue hair.

Baby’s birthday went off great! She loved all her gifts more than I could have hoped. She looks so cute in the clothes and it’s great seeing the car with a fresh smattering of stickers. We took a short trip out of our happiness to go over to M&D’s for a couple of hours so that they & the kid could give her the gifts. The visit went off ok and that was a nice surprise. We totally relaxed that weekend…..watched some movies, had lotsa sex, baby beat the shit outta my ass. Speaking of which…..it was sooooo funny, bitches……..Baby & I finally talked about the whole pain thing at the very beginning of that little weekend. We found out a couple of things…….

1. I was starting to give up on her ever hitting me real hard
2. She thought she was hitting me too hard
3. It’s all in the wrist
4. the Mega-Flogger is too heavy for her to do too much still
5. the metal cat-o-nine-tails scares the hell outta her (at least it DID)
6. she wouldn’t use a hair brush b/c the kid uses it
7. It’s all in the wrist

So after being red and giggling…..we decided we were idiots for not discussing the actual “punishments” in that kind of detail before and girlfriend immediately ran over to Sally’s and got a HUGE black paddle brush…………life has been too sweet ever since! Just this morning, she realized she wouldn’t see me on my lunch break so she broke that sucker out and wailed a few good ones. She has also discovered that the big plastic frying spoon (really big ladle-like spoon full of holes) causes me a lot of pain and it’s sooo very quiet! This is important b/c she uses the brush when the kid’s not home & the spoon after the kid’s gone to bed! I love her so much!! We’ve also discovered that flip-flips used in a pinch, while loud………those bitches HURT.

Total change of subject bitches, but I have to tell you……………..THE KID MADE THE HONOR ROLL!!!!! We’d done given up on that ever happening!!!! She’s really been good lately. Honor Roll?! Jesus-buttfucking-christ.

Halloween was great, but quiet. The Kid and Baby did the walk and they looked too cute. Kid wore her little burgundy/black/gold trim medieval dress & Baby wore little devil horns……but the funniest thing was seeing her in the devil horns and her little outfit while having her hand in a soft cast & sling, and using the walking stick. She looked like she lost the battle, ya know! Too cute.

You didn’t know about her hand??? My bad, bitches. Well, I bought us 3 tickets to go see The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D at Baywalk in St. Pete. Yes, we drove over an hour to go see a movie that we’ve memorized, but the 3D was soooooooooooooooo great!! Well, Baby wanted the car cleaned before we went so she took it to go get washed and vacuumed and ended up getting all kinds of emotional and upset over a misunderstanding with me & comes home saying that she freaked out so bad that she hurt her hand and yacked. ?? Doesn’t tell me until we’re about ready to leave that she hurt her hand by closing the trunk of the fucking car & then……THEN…..shows it to me and the fucking thing was 2x’s the size of her hand and BLACK. OMFG! I let her talk me into not canceling our evening and going to the ER as long as she went the next morning (which she did). Broke her middle finger and her wrist. Dr. said that probably what happened is that the finger broke when the trunk latched shut and when Baby jerked the wrist snapped. The Doc is not amused at the lack of feeling that still going on. Neither am I.

We’re going over to the Rents on Saturday. I am a good daughter. It should be fine. I just hope Dad isn’t too fucking unbearable since THE FUCKING REPUBLICANS ARE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF THE HOUSE OR THE SENATE!!!!! WOOOO HOOOOOO!!! RUMSFELD HAS QUIT!!! BUSH CAN LICK ALL OF OUR HAIRY ASSHOLES!!!!

I digress…………..I didn’t think it would ever happen. I really didn’t. I had totally given up on 90% of the people in this country being decent human beings. You bitches never cease to amaze me! I’m so proud, bitches, so proud…………….

9:37 a.m. - Thursday, Nov. 09, 2006

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