"In the world I see....you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned super-highway." - Chuck Palahniuk
"It is always simply a matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country." - Hitler's propaganda chief Herman Goerring
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Canadian chicks RULE………………
Sooooooooo….. I’m handling the whole J thing very maturely, of course. I’ll be fine for a while and then Baby says I get real pale (even for me) & then I start hyperventilating.
Wednesday came & I went over to HER PLACE. OMG. I met her at work again. She said it was b/c I’ve told her about my bad sense of direction & I’m sure that’s part of it….but I’m sure she doesn’t want her neighbors seeing my car in her driveway. She’s got 2 grey kitties and a HUGE german shepherd. Very sweet & cute they are. She gave me the grand tour and had to unlock every single door in her house & then lock it right back b/c the dog can open them otherwise & then he eats anything he gets his hands on. However…….when she showed me “her” bedroom last…..she very smoothly left that door wide open. She didn’t close it until we left. I was smooth and sat as far away from her on the couch as I could. I really didn’t mean to do it….but that’s where I was….with the animals all over me in between us. Is it any wonder I’ve never gotten any more chick action than I have???? Many a woman would say no. We ran our mouths and I had moments where I was almost relaxed, which is a really amazing thing for me. I have a hard time with my nerves with any new friend situation (much less one like this!). We talked mostly about very innocent things. I think it was the least we talked about sex since the xmas party. LOL. I can’t believe we were alone in her house with the bedroom door open. She has the biggest TV I’ve ever seen in my life. I’m not joking. I couldn’t help but laugh hysterically ever so often. The thing is as big as me. J is yet another chick in my life with an unhealthy relationship with her mother. Girlfriends house is NICE. She admits that the house & car is all thanks to mom. She pays for it all dearly, too. They always do. Her taste is very similar to mine on house décor (minus the bedroom….all of our gothi-ness is in our bedroom & hers is very white) & I actually think I’ve found a house cleaner than mine! She bleaches her floors and shampoos her couches weekly, people. She also hasn’t had sex in 6 months. The only thing about her house is that it doesn’t feel…..full of love. It’s clean and beautiful and not really a “museum” feeling that my parents house always had, but……I didn’t feel love in that house. Her husband called @ 9 pm for her to come get him an hour early. I’ve never seen a pissy J face before, but…oh my! We were not amused. Said that he never calls that early & he was pretty insistent that he wanted her to come get him now. She locked her bedroom door and we left. She was a little silent on the way back to her office and we still hadn’t talked openly about “us” & what’s going on between us & how my wife ties into all of this. So….I was smooth as always and just blurted out at the last second that this is very weird and new and we have rules. I have yet to go into any of the rules other than me blurting out very rapidly that Baby and I have separate rules for each other & I’m a lot more possessive and jealous than she & she just has to at least be in the room the first time. She at least didn’t point while she laughed at me. She freaked out a little & kept saying that she doesn’t do well with odd numbers (“My uniform is an even number!”), but by the time she calmed was mumbling comments like, “well………..I don’t know….” She told me that she’s asked me out the last couple of times so it’s in my hands now. She was too cute working up the courage to hug me or something & I couldn’t quite muster up the nerve either. I touched her thigh oh-so-briefly when I said something to her. Go me. The next day when I called over for a pick up…..her mom showed up! She seemed the same towards me and I was oh-so-happy to see her. When she went upstairs to people, I sent a text msg to J since I knew it would be safe for a change. Told her, “coffee was fun. Hope I didn’t scare you too bad.” As far as anyone in J’s life knows….She & I did go out that night, but we just went for coffee at the book store. Girlfriend wrote me back, “Best cup of my life. Not scared at all.” Oh my, bitches. Baby & I have both joked that J must not have been amused that she didn’t get to come over and “get her fix” b/c she text’d throughout the rest of the day! I wrote her that I know it’s a while off, but how about we do it again on the 24th (2 weeks from then)? Said that hubby came home trashed, as usual, & never gave her any shit. Doesn’t seem to suspect a thing. I told her that I was glad and that at least she didn’t have to spend any quality time together with him. She writes me back, “I guess I’m lucky for not getting lucky. So…I have to ask. Do good things come to those who wait since I have to wait till the 24th?” OH MY FUCKING GOD!! I told her on Wednesday night in the parking lot, albeit very quickly, that Baby has to be there. Altho that’s becoming another story! I’m so not sure how to breathe about all of this!!! I ignored her question and wrote her back, “I’m blushing so hard my cheeks hurt. :-p”. She wrote back, “it’s about damn time I flustered you. And just for the record, you’re pretty damn hot.” OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! No one has ever just blurted these kinds of things out to me. No one. I told her that flustered she’s accomplished many times, but this is akin to babbling fool. To which she replied that babbling fool was a good thing. How am I supposed to make it till next Wednesday???? How am I supposed to make it thru next Wednesday night???? How is this woman who has never cheated on her husband nor been with another woman, supposed to do both while in the presence of a watching 3rd party??? A key will be her pent up frustration. Another key will be vodka. I don’t understand why she wants me & I don’t understand how I haven’t scared her off yet. Baby is REALLY happy about all of this and she’s promised to say something the second she feels any insecurity or worry or anything. J will never know what she has done for our sex life. Oh. My. Gawd. P.S. I'm meeting her for lunch tomorrow!!1:40 p.m. - Monday, Jan. 15, 2007
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