"In the world I see....you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned super-highway." - Chuck Palahniuk
"It is always simply a matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country." - Hitler's propaganda chief Herman Goerring
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Happy fucking Monday.............
There’s so much to write and I do have some time now to write it, but…….I don’t feel much like writing happiness. I don’t know what happened yesterday & it seems to be spilling over into today. I woke up happy. Baby seemed real happy. She had thought up a plan for the day & I just reminded her of one little thing that needed to be worked into the schedule…………..and we still haven’t recovered from it. I don’t know how. I don’t know why. I ruined the day. I’m so fucking tired I’m sick at my stomach. I got random text msgs from J thru the weekend, but that seemed to be about the only thing that ever made Baby smile yesterday.
She says that it’s just disappointment that she had this idea for the day and it’s not gonna happen. It didn’t really have to nix out EVERYTHING else, but it did. I don’t understand. I needed to buy a bra. My 4 year old one died Friday. I never did go out yesterday and buy one, so now I have to decide what will be more dealable….Baby getting upset b/c I’m gonna go tonight and buy a bra, Baby getting upset b/c I’m going tomorrow, or Baby getting upset b/c I’m not going at all. Even tho this bra is so dead that no one can tell I’m wearing one………it’s not cutting me, so it’ll do. I just didn’t want to be any xtra self-conscious Wednesday when I went over to J’s. It is NOT this big of a deal & I really wish I had never mentioned it. I need to talk this over with Baby to try and feel her out to see which one is gonna upset her the least, but if I mention it…..she’s just gonna get upset all over again. She said that she’s gonna try to come over and see me on my lunch break & I could talk about it then, but that’ll just guarantee that it’ll be an hour of getting her upset and………..I can’t handle any more of this.9:00 a.m. - Monday, Jan. 22, 2007
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